Thursday, April 16, 2009


One not so fine Saturday morning, as usual, my hubby and I went out for breakfast, and when we came back to the house I told him that I wanted to go looking for a kitchen cabinet, the kind that I can plonk my one burner stove unto.
So instead of getting out of the car and into the house, I turned the car around and we drove off to Sungai Buloh, because that is where all the furniture shops are situated. Then I felt the urgent need to use the "little girl's room" and we stopped at this Petronas Service Station which was about 100 to 150 metres away from the junction to Kampung Melayu Subang. After doing what I had to do, I turned into the traffic and took the right lane, as I had spotted a furniture shop which I wanted to stop at.
The traffic light had turned red and we had to stop. There was a "budak belajar bawa kereta" in a kancil in front of us. When the right turned gree, the kancil stalled. Mind you my indicator had already been flashing away for the whole period that we were waiting for the lights to turn green. When the learner driver finally managed to get a grip and move the kancil (I'm sure it was after much abuse from the driving instructer as we could see his mouth going "pot, pet, pot, pet") I looked into the side mirror, did not see anyone and turned right into the side lane that would take me to the furniture shop. As I was about to complete my turn I heard a sound that I will never ever forget and saw a motorcyclist and his pillion rider (who was carrying a large black object which we later learnt is a grille for a window) using their motocycle to "redecorate" the right side of my car.

The point of impact on the right side of the car.

Then a "Good Samaritan" came and indicated that we should park at the side of the road. When my hubby got out of the car the "Good Samaritan" (whose own silver waja was parked haphazardly and blocking traffic in his haste to masuk campur and jadi "SUPERMAN" or "SUPARMAN" whichever is applicable) came and asked my husband "Bagi signal tak tadi?" dengan gaya poyo macam polis pencen.

Fuiyooo Bro, lu memang cari jalan nak kena hentak dengan steering lock la Bro! First of all lu sape nak masuk campur, second jangan ingat gua perempuan tak tau mana indicators and what they are for!!!!!! So setelah kena sergah dengan I yang dah jadi mak gajah Africa yang naik minyak kat photographer National Geographic, si "Good Samaritan" tu pun blah.

Tenguk plak si motorcylist, dengan muka serious and a desperate attempt to hide his accent from "seberang", melesang-lesang ('kay, "melesang-lesang" is equivalent to "approaching another with anger and intention to hurt and/or intimidate") datang kat my hubby.

My husband : "Tak nampak ke signal?"

Umar (we got his name) the Indon : "Iya, tapi saya laju, jadi saya tak sempat brake".

Background scene is a Bangladeshi who is "trying" to faint.

My husband : "Kenapa kawan awak?"

Umar the Indon : "Dia berdarah, mau pengsan, abang kena hantar ke klinik."

Ibu Gajah Africa : "Apa?!!!!!"

My husband " "Suruh dia masuk kereta."

Ibu Gajah Africa : "Apa?!!!!!!!" (Ok, I was a bit short on witty remarks).

So we took the Bangladeshi into the car, he was bleeding and he helped himself to our tissues.

Ibu Gajah Africa : "Mana mau pergi?"

Bleeding Bangla : "Pirigi tempat Bos..."

My husband : "Mana luka?".

With all the dramatics of a Bollywood actor, the Bleeding Bangla held up his elbow. He was missing some skin near the elbow and some scratches on his hand, something like what I got on my legs (both ok!) when I decided to do the "parit mambo" (kindly check earlier posts for details) but was moaning and "ishkkkkkk.....ishkkkkk....ishkkkkk" away like he's missing a whole arm!

So off we went into the maze that is Kampung Melayu Subang looking for his "tempat Boss". Umar the Indon conveniently disappeared taking with him the window grille which he must have stashed somewhere because when he showed up at the "tempat Boss" it was no longer with him.

To cut a long story short, the boss showed up and surprise, surprise he is a government servant, wearing his uniform. The Bossman it seems, is a member of the "Jabatan Bomba dan Penyelamat" who is moonlighting as a "tukang besi bersedia untuk membuat awning dan grille rumah". Of course he refused to pay, and of course Umar the Indon became bolder with the presence of his Bossman, making remarks like "Iya sudah bagi signal, tapi saya laju, mana boleh berhenti", "Saya laju jadi saya mesti jalan dulu", "Mungkin pemandu tak nampak sebab saya laju dari belakang".

The driver's side which Umar the Indon and the Bleeding Bangla "redecorated" with their motorcycle.

Thank god my husband is such a "MAN OF PEACE" (eiiiiii geramnya!!!), if not the Bossman, Umar the Indon and the Bleeding Bangla (who when we arrived at his "tempat Boss" suddenly perked up and was no longer "ishkkkkk..." ing away or trying desperately to faint) would have been tied to the pokok kelapa (which was in the background) and covered in red ants!

So Ibu Gajah Africa and her "Nobel Peace Price Winner" husband (Eeeiiiii! Geramnya! Geramnya! Geramnya!) left the scene but only after getting Umar's passport number. The funny thing is....when we asked for Umar's passport, the Bossman offered to give his details instead...hmmmmmm.....I smell a rotten fish. So off we went to see Malaysia' finest, THE PULES (I mean the Police, "Pules" is how Sharifah Salmah pronounces the word) but that is a story on its own.

The rest of the poor darling waja...I love u....muah! Muah! Muah!

So till next time...look out for racing indons, over acting bangladeshis and moonlighting "bomba" men! Taraaaa!!!!!


  1. Isk isk isk... so dlm citer ni... sian si Umar dgn Bangla Berdarah tu... ishk ishk ishk... i tau mcm mana pedihnyer bila luka camtu... ishk ishk ishk... apsal nama bangla tu kak oja tak tanya ekk... Umar dia kenal pulak... apa2 pung lps ni... berhati2 dgn penyeluk saku...

  2. Takpa.. sabar ok.. jgn marah.. ada hikmah tu.. haa.. tengok.. at least u berjaya mengharungi kejadian tu tanpa ada pertumpahan darah xtra berlaku... ishk iskh iskh...