THE (SLEEPY) MEN I LOVE!

These are the men in my life...the men I love.

My oh my, aren't they a good looking lot? From the left: my hubby, my cousin Mader, my one and only Ayah, and my dearest brother, Adi. This is how they look when they are upright and awake...But sometimes they are not so upright and awake...and guess who was there with her handy cameraphone?

It's Mader...believe me it's my cousin Mader...all tuckered out and asleep on the sofa in (what was then) the dining room. I blame it on the "lighting" and my cheap Nokia...yeah, right!!! Ha! Ha! Ha!

My ayah...on the same long suffering sofa...(you can tell it's been with us for some time based on the cracks in the leather)...in what is now the TV room...caught in his favourite pose in front of the TV. Try switching the channel and he'll just awaken and you'll hear the favourite phrase "I was watching that, why did you change the channel?". So you dutifully change the channel back and lo and behold, my ayah will be back in his favourite pose, with the TV watching him. I love him so very much, my Ayah.

My hubby. No , he was not on the same sofa, he was on the two-seater, trying his best (and I might add succeeding) to imitate his father-in law...awwwww...siannya anak Mok Nab from Kota Baharu, Kelantan.

And this pose "mengancam giler" was given by my brother when he took his turn on the two seater in the TV room...macho habis...nasib baik la semuanya sudah di cukur!!!

THIS ONE GOES OUT TO THE ONES I LOVE...

I should have posted this a long time ago. Somehow or rather I never got around to it till now. I came across this song last year during Raya Puasa. It's by the group "Hujan" featuring "Raihan". I love the lyrics...though I tweaked it a bit to fit my purpose...and I dedicate the song to my dearest Ayah and Ibu and to other parents all over the world who have dedicated their lives to their children...I salute you all!

Ewah...macam pengantin UOLS!!!

My Ibu (sitting down) with one of her closest friends, Aunty Tan.

Ayah, ibu, Aunty Tan and Uncle Tan-Mantin, first day of Raya Puasa 2009.

My ayah and Amira the Bon Bons...soon to be eldest grandchild instead of only grandchild.

For Ayah and Ibu...

Terkenang diketika itu...ku dimanja dan disayang selalu

Apa saja kemahuan diri...akan cuba dipenuhi

Walau hidup dalam kesukaran

Kau kan cuba untuk membahagiakan

Demi anak-anak yang tersayang

Kau berdua kan berkorban...

Tetapi baru ku sedari...Tidak mungkin kan terbalas budi

Pengorbanan Mu tiada ternilai...

Hanya Tuhan kan membalasnya...

Salam....Ayah Ibu yang dicintai

Maafkanlah anak mu ini

Kerana belum cukup berbakti

Pabila menjelang lebaran, baju baru kan disediakan

Walau mungkin kami tak mengerti, keperitan saat itu

Namun wajahmu terus bercahaya...

Oh sucinya kasih sayang itu

Di bibirmu kan menguntum senyum

Andainya anak-anak mu bahagia...

WEDDING BELLS, WEDDING BELLS...LA, LA, LA, LA, LA...

Dear Mak Long,

Your eldest, Mader a.k.a The Bangla, Pak Black etc. etc., is getting married. Yup, after so many "pelamin angan ku musnah" I guess this time his "pelamin angan" will actually materialise. The "lucky" lady is from Negeri Sembilan, though the whole family is currently residing in Selayang. She's a divorcee with two daughters.

Mader (hmmm...no wonder he was sitting like a "pengantin", praktis rupenya!) and Arose.

The one in blue and looking so "tersipu-sipu" is Mader...the one whose trying to imitate Donald Duck is...my hubby. Kenapo la cam tu lak rupo laki den nih?

The "merisik" and engagement is scheduled to take place on 2nd May, 2010 and the wedding on 29th May, 2010. Your daughter, Arose and moi are in charge of the "hantaran" and such. The "grown-up" adat-adat and religious procedure will be handled by ayah and ibu with Acik Ujang, Anjang, Atih Duan, Pak Busu etc.

Mader and Amiera...Raya Puasa 2009.

I guess everything is coming along fine. We had a small pow-wow last Wednesday, 17th March, 2010 at KLCC. Present were moi (as usual with hubby in tow), Mader and Arose. We managed to discuss the matter as calmly as possible although I'm sure you know how much Arose and I love to launch a "tag-team" attack on Mader. We didn't flatten him or anything...just gave him the occassional "dush, dush, kapowwww" (ikut sound effect scene tumbuk filem tamil). I think he escaped with a mere "bloody nose" and a few bengkak-bengkak here and there. We love him Mak Long, we do!!!!!!!...(imagine montel fluffy cat with big, big yellow eyes batting her eyelashes at you)...Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! (gelak evil tahap dewa gaban 7 petala langit).

Mader...in his Muay Tai costume.

The only trouble we seem to be having is with the colour scheme. Your bakal menantu is always spouting out things like "cantikkkkkkknyyyyyaaaaaaaa warna hijau pucuk pisang ni kan" or some other colour that will not go well with Mader's...ehem...TANNED tahap "kek kukus gula hangus" complexion. I know this because I went shopping with them last Saturday, 13th March, 2010 at PKNS, Shah Alam. Managed to settle their "baju nikah" issue. It's beige. Mader wanted something grey (and the material was like satin, all shiny). Thank Allah I managed to talk him out of that but even then only after finding the material and basically winding it around his neck. Ha managed to see the "light"...Ya Allah, mengerlit Mak Long rasa nak nyanyi "the future's so bright I've got to wear shades". So everytime your bakal menantu makes any suggestion that would make Mader look like the body double to MGR, I stepped in and used my veto power as elder sister to stop it.

Hmmm...camana nak describe ni? Chocolate mocha? Cappucino? Frappucino? Milo kurang susu?

This is not just a photo of a t-shirt. There's a person wearing the t-shirt, folks...look closely...ha! ha! ha!

I would be making the "hantaran" myself. Arose and I have chosen lilac, maroon and white/ivory as the colours for Mader's "hantaran" to Lin (that's your bakal menantu's name). We have requested that Lin's "hantaran" to Mader be "baby blue and white". Lin wanted to do the hantaran in "chili red and white" but Arose and I didn't actually like the combination.

Renungan bakal pengantin...ewah! Cakpong! Cakpong! Cakpong!

Apapun Mak Long, no matter how much we make fun of him, Mader is our blood and Arose and I both just want the best for him. We love him and we try our best to protect him...we protect him so fiercely Mak Long that he describes us as the "lionesses" to all his girlfriends. Tak apa, biar dia orang risau sikit so tak ada yang cuba-cuba buli dia.

Arose and Mader...check out the "bumper"...nak buat camana, it's in the blood. All the ladies in the family have fabulous "bumpers".

Mader and moi...he looks so much like my Atuk Latiff. Well, where would the gravy fall if not onto the rice, right?


The "lionesses"!

It will be Mader's day, and based on our family history of lifetime commitment, InsyAllah it will be the only wedding ceremony he will go through for the rest of his life. So, we will try our best to make it as beautiful and sweet as possible. I am no expert but I will try my best to make you proud with the "hantaran" and Arose and I will look out for any "unacceptable" colour combinations.

My hubby, Mader, my brother Adi and Amiera Da Bon Bons. Ondai ai, rancak banar wa-ang yo Mader, alah cando hero filem tamil.

I'm meeting Mader and Lin again this Saturday. We'll be looking for the "barang hantaran" and the decorations as well. When that's done we'll be adjourning to KLCC to see Arose. She'll be the one deciding on the colour of the "baju bersanding". All final decision is hers, as she is stepping into your shoes in this situation. And I must say, you should be very proud of your daughter. She's a fine woman. All the trials and tribulations which she has had to face in her life has turned Arose into a survivor, a strong woman who knows what she wants and where she's going in her life. And like the rest of the women in the family, she loves wholly and fiercely. The man she chooses to be her husband, will be lucky indeed.

Arose...posing giler lepas jaga "barbeque" Raya Haji 2009.

I'll keep you posted as to what happens on Saturday.

Mak Long...we wish you were here......we miss you...

FATTIES ANONYMOUS...

Salam and a good day to all! I'm rather perky today. Arrived in the office "sesudah subuh" as my hubby is the producer for this morning's breakfast show at KLfm. Was on leave yesterday as I had an appointment with the folks at Putrajaya Hospital.

Aaaahhhhh...the view from the rear...bumper power beb!

We arrived at the hospital around 7.12 a.m. but there was already a long queue waiting for numbers at the registration counter. Then I realised that my appointment has been fixed for 12.00 p.m. Alamak!!!! Nevertheless, the nice nurse at the Endocrine Clinic changed the time to 8.30 a.m. and I was given a number, "3018". Hmmm...nice number, 4D TOTO anyone?

What???!!! Only two chins??? Alhamdulillah, syukur ke hadrat Allah, ingatkan lebih.

Not long after, I was duly registered, weighed (now I feel like a a piece of meat...but mind you if I was beef, I would be that extremely expensive beef from cattle grown on that island in Japan, I can't, for the life of me, remember the name) and measured. Thank Allah, there was enough of the tape to go around my...ehem!... rather massive girth.

Gaya menggoda bersama sepinggan nasi dagang di pagi Raya yang tak berapa hening.

Then I was ushered into the doctor's consultation room. Young , fresh faced doctor. A Chinese chap with a goatee...hmmm, its usually Malays that have this almost fanatical obsession with facial hair. Anyways, something different everyday. It adds spice to life.

Mine!!! All mine!!! Muarghahahahaha (gelak jin Ahmad Albab)!

He was very pleasant. It was nice talking to him. For once I didn't feel like like I was being interrogated for falling foul of the ISA. Doctors... and I do have to concede that only some, not all...have this knack of making you feel guilty.

"What???!!! You had one OREO in three months???!!! You are beyond help! Off with your head! Take her away nurse and do it quietly behind the cafetaria."

Anyways, this young doctor managed to get his point across without being nasty, overbearing or preachy. And he has registered me for a "Workshop on Obesity". He said it comprises of a physiotherapy session where they teach you how to exercise, a support group meeting (Yes! I confess! The sight of a "Kinder Bueno" bar makes my knees weak!) in the morning and in the afternoon, the usual consultation.

Hmmmm...the thought of the support group makes me feel rather wicked. It's as if I have a dirty, little...or in my case not-so-little...secret and I'll be spilling the beans in the company of strangers. It brings to mind visions of the "AA (Alcoholics Anonymous)", though I have never been to one. Pass by 44 Angels (selisih Malaikat 44 la)!.

Auwwwww!!! Gemuk-gemuk pun mak jelita nyah! Kalau mak kurus, Giselle Bunchen pun kalah!

So I'll be off to my first "Fatties Anonymous" meeting on 1st June, 2010. I 'll let you know what happens. Enjoy your day! It's a gift!

LOVE, FRIENDSHIP AND THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS...

It seems that I have been waiting for a very long time to write this post. For the past four years, since 2006 to be exact, I have been living under a dark, dark cloud. The darkness permeated everything...it polluted and it wrecked havoc, with my life and my sanity.

My husband...who loved and loved...despite my antics.

It was the result of being downtrodden for so long, of drowning in a sea of helplessness to the point that even the most flimsy of rotting flotsam provided a much needed and welcomed relief. And I had to pay for it. Boy, did I pay for it.

The smile which hid everything...and then some.

This morning, my hubby said that he is again seeing the woman whom he fell in love with and married four years ago. He thought he had lost me forever. Well, I thought I had lost me forever.

The anchors which grounded me...throughout my trials and tribulations.

The pressure was insane...I never thought that I would survive it. But I did, because of family, my hubby, a very good friend, an understanding boss who allowed me to confide in her and never broke that confidence and the kindness of strangers, both here and in a country far, far away.

I love you both so very much.

I guess my life can be divided into the period before 9th March, 2010 and to the period after 9th March, 2010. Before 9th March, 2010, I had nearly lost all trust in the human race. I nearly lost my trust in God. Oh, don't get me wrong, I believe in God, I just didn't trust Him not to hurt me. because I have been hurt, swindled, cheated, lied to...by people whom I trusted, some of whom were friends, good friends. And I kept asking God, why do you allow this to happen? Why did I have to meet these "skinwalkers", monsters moving around in human skin. He did not answer, or maybe He did, I just could not, would not listen.

Love without conditions...my Ayah and Ibu.

My life was literally saved by the kindness and compassion of "a league of extraordinary gentlemen", a few of whom have never, and probably will never meet me. It is through their kindness, their compassion, that I am able to keep my sanity, to again be me...

And throughout it all, my family never lost faith in me, my hubby kept on loving me (even though day after day he saw the woman he loved slipping further away from him), my friend slogged away to save me even when all hope seemed lost. I was also lucky enough to be able to confide in my boss, knowing that I will not be betrayed.

My brother...such a beautiful soul.

And now, after 9th March, 2010, and after the black cloud had lifted, I realise that I have been loved, so very loved. That I have been lucky. That even if things had turned out differently, there are people who would be willing to lend a hand to this "lost soul". For I was lost in a forest of grief, sadness, guilt, self-blame, anger...most of the time and always...anger. Anger was a constant companion. I kept it hidden most of the time, sometimes I was successful, sometimes I was not.

It has been a humbling experience, an eye-opener. That for all my bravado and self-confidence, life can still deal a "whopper" that would leave me "bleeding and broken". Thank you Allah for this experience...I know now that compassion, kindness, faith and friendship is not determined by creed, colour, religion or nationality. I know now that blood ties lasts forever, that the love of a good man keeps you warm and protects even when the world is cold, gray and wicked, that sometimes Allah has to drag you through the depths of despair, that sometimes you have to go through pain and tears in order to become a better person.

Amal...a candle in the wind.

So to Ayah, Ibu, Acik Ujang, Adi, Sue, Amira, Maureen and Amal, thank you for standing by me through it all. To my hubby, thank you for loving me, even when I was just a mere shadow of the woman you married. To Mr Liow and the gentlemen from Mandom of Japan...thank you so very much from the bottom of my heart for this "second chance" at life.

The reason I live...

Allah, I know now that You have always been there, guiding me, loving me, always loving me, even when I doubted You, even when I raved and ranted like a mad woman, even when I was at my worst. I love You.

And to those who have wronged me, whether intentionally or not, I forgive you all. Find your peace with God.